Blood Biopsy Results

So, the results came in and I have no additional mutations.  I'm still just EGFR.  Therefore, after radiation, I will continue the course with tarceva. 

I'm meeting with my oncologist in two weeks to work on a future scan schedule and praying like crazy this spot was part of the original tumor that escaped and was just now detectable. 

Also praying for this radiation to go well.  It's in the same lung I had it done last time.  I'm praying that lung can withstand all of this and all goes well since there is a major artery too close to biopsy  the spot itself.

Prayers appreciated and thank you all for continuing to fight this journey with me.  I'll be getting the body cast made tomorrow and officially start my first round 7/1.  My independence day celebration is going to involve a lot of sleep!

Love you all and God Bless!

Plan A

So, I got the results of my Petscan an MRI back.  They both showed no additional active cancer.  So, the problem has resulted in what to do with this new area that can't be reached.

After consulting the cardio thoracic surgeon, the plan was made to just radiate that one area since it is the drainage area and could have been there all along, just too small to pick up.  We will get the results of the blood biopsy on the 26th.  If it shows no mutation, I'll have the radiation and stay on tarceva.

The radiation will be 5 rounds to the upper portion of my lung.  Next Wed., June 26th, I'll have my initial appointment and after that I'll have 3 rounds one week and 2 rounds another hopefully.  This will put me home mid-July which really sucks.

I love being with family but I miss Karley and my own bed and just my life.  So, there are a lot of logistics to work out.  I'll keep you all updated.

Thank you all for your continuous prayers and God Bless.

All Good Things Eventually End

Well, it's been a fabulous run on tarceva.  6 1/2 years in fact. Unfortunately the time has come to move on.  I just finished my appointment which showed progression in my lung that's hard to reach for a biopsy.

So, I'll be in Atlanta a little longer than anticipated.  I have a petscan and MRI scheduled for Monday to be sure there is no additional metastatic disease throughout.  My oncologist has a team that will discuss my case after these additional tests and determine where we go from here.  We are thinking tagrisso but are unsure for now.

I've been blessed to be progression free for so long.  But we all know this disease is relentless and the reality is, it will not stop.  I'm thankful to know so many advocates and physicians that I can get opinions from.  You guys know who you are. 

I know my family and friends are worried.  All I can say is that we cannot control our destiny.  It's in God's hands.  He has always given me signs, so I wasn't that surprised going in today.  I feel Nicole and Kelly were surrounding me with their love and comfort and God allowed that as a sort of warning.  They both did show up in my facebook memories this week.

But, whatever happens from here, I do feel confident that God will lead the doctors in the right direction and we come up with a good plan.  I'm praying it hasn't spread as well. 

So, for now, I'll have more tests Monday and will keep you all updated  now that things are different.  I miss my Karley so much and will be so happy when I get to go back home.  God bless you all and thank you for your continuous prayers.

This Sucks

So, it's nearly 1 am.  My scan is tomorrow so I'll need to be up around 7:45 a.m.  I can't sleep.  This past week I've been sick, had pain below my right rib, and my memories on Facebook have been the last ones I have of both Nicole and Kelly. 

Those who follow my blog know who they are, but for those who don't, they were my two closest lung cancer friends who left us last year.  I was supposed to go visit Kelly last year at the end of June, but I got sick and her health kept declining. 

And I don't know how in the hell I'm supposed to deal with so much loss.  Kelly was my soul sister and Stephanie has surly joined that club now, they will love each other but never replace each other in my heart.  I thank God every day for Him sending Stephanie to me, even though it's selfish and she doesn't deserve this either.  She too has young ones.

No one deserves this.  No one deserves to live like this.  It's not just Kelly and Nicole who left.  It's Courtney, Ray, Chris, Karen, Molly, Mandi, Shermaine, Paul, Joan and so many more that left this world too damn soon.  They had children, some of them very young.

And I know I should be grateful to still be here, it is so damn hard to lose so many.  The ones I named are not even a 10th of the people that have gone on.  It's so hard talking to someone, knowing it's the end on earth for them.  And sometimes I don't reach out because I don't know what the hell to say.   But know this, I will always be here for you to talk too.  Just DM me on Facebook.  You're not alone feeling this way.

I'm living for my daughter.  Now she's a teenager and man, it is way more depressing because she's struggling for independence.  I remember that age.

So, for now, all I can do is cry for all of you out there that have lost someone, that are dealing with a this (both family and patient).  Know that I'm praying for you too.

Survivor's guilt sucks.  I've always felt God gives me signs.  So, both Nicole and Kelly showing up in my memories makes me a little uneasy. 

But once again, I'm going to say my prayers and have faith in whatever God has planned for me.  I'm both a pessimist and optimist of this disease.  It seems I'm never happy with the results, which is selfish too.  I really need to quit with the selfishness and turn things over to God.  It's harder than I make it seem sometimes.  But when I actually do it, a peace takes over that I can't explain.

God bless you all and thank you again for the prayers.  When I can't sleep..I write.  So I just laid it all out there for you.  Now that this is off my chest, maybe I can sleep. 

These are my people.  On earth and in heaven.  The emotional toll is the worst.

Scans....With a New Ache

Well, I made it to Atlanta where I'll get my scans tomorrow and results Friday.  I'll be sure and update everyone.  This time is a little different than previous scans.

First, it's been the longest amount of time in between scans since diagnosis.  I've seen so many of my fellow lung cancer peers hit recurrences it's unreal.  So, I've got that in my head.

Second, I've been having a pain sort of in my side under my rib cage.  Of course, any little ache or pain, I'm going to think of as progression.  It's built into my thinking now.  Especially since I know it will return one day.  I just don't know when or where.

So, I used to not have scanxiety at so bad.  This time is a little different though.  I know whatever will be will be, but I don't think I'll go back to not having scanxiety again.  I'm usually over emotional and depressed during this time, so please bare with me.  It usually starts about a week or so out. 

But, I do know God has me and has His own plans, so I'll focus on that for as long as possible. 

Thank you for all of your continuous prayers, you don't know how much they mean.  I'll update soon.  God Bless.