Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes

I heard this song today.  It reminded me of the past few days that have been the worst since I was diagnosed myself.  In fact, they are about equal.

"I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes" - Howie Day

Although I know, I will see your face light up again, but I'm not sure when.  Roy Reynolds AKA dada AKA Robertson gained his wings today.  Roy was the kind of person whose smile could wipe away all of your worries.  He was so silly and loved to debate with me over so many things.

When he got diagnosed with leukemia over a year ago.  I went to the hospital almost every day to sit with him.  He didn't want to believe he had cancer.  He was in such denial.  Every day, I tried to drill it into his head.  That's the thing about Roy, he could be stubborn.

Shortly after being released, he moved in across the street from us.  Karley and Livi absolutely adored him.  He was the best tenant and friend anyone could ask for.  He was always helping us and never asked for anything in return.  I was blessed to work with Roy and be his friend for several years.

When he got leukemia, we held a fundraiser for him at Ocean Lodge.  He didn't realize how tired the medicine would make him or the side effects that took place.  He hated them.  He didn't want to really grasp that he was going to be on this medicine forever.   I told him again and again he was my cancer buddy down here and he had to keep the medicine going.

Yesterday morning his sister, Renesha and I took him to the ER for pain.  He had been to the ER several days in a row and they wouldn't admit him.  His gums were bleeding, his nose had been bleeding, and the pain was almost unbearable.

After the ER where he was just given more pain meds and released, Roy and I went to Wendy's.  He, being Roy, tried to pay for my lunch.  I threw his money back at him and told him, "Next time I have to go to the hospital and you have to take me, you can buy me lunch".  With that perfect smile he just laughed and thanked me.

I dropped him off at his house at 12:45, we told each other we loved each other like normal, we knew cancer.  Those were the last words we ever said to each other.

I arrived home around 6 p.m. last evening.  A family friend had found him unresponsive at his home.  We called 911.  He looked at me once, closed his eyes, and I never saw him open them again.  I had no idea what was going on.  I put a pillow under his head and stroked his head telling him it would be okay.  I was so wrong.

The ambulance arrived and he was still unresponsive.  His pupils were normal on the scene, but something happened on the way to the hospital.  I feel so guilty.  I don't know how long he was laying there.  My friend  was laying right across the street, bleeding into his brain with no one to help him.

The hospital here decided the trauma to the brain was too extensive so they air lifted him to Savannah Memorial.  I spent the night in Savannah and went back this morning.  He had no brain activity.  It was decided to take him off life support.

This happened so quickly.  One minute one of my greatest friends down here is okay and the next he's gone.  The girls are devastated, his family and friends are devastated.  I hope he knew how much he was loved by all of us.  Roy was one of a kind, always willing to help someone, never holding ill will.  I really thought that he would live longer than me.  Once again, I was wrong.

Roy, I'm sorry I didn't check on you more.  I'm sorry for not being the friend I should have been.

Please pray for Renesha, his mom, his family, his children, and his friends.  The world lost a great one today, one of the best.  He can never be replaced and will always be in my heart.  Love you Robertson.