Keeping my Faith - Living with Stage IV Lung Cancer: Dr. Paul Kalanithi

I first saw a picture of Paul and Lucy Kalanithi a few days before NYE. I'd heard of them, but forget things so easily. We were both raising funds for Team Draft's Super Bowl Challenge. They destroyed us. But, when I read that it was his lifelong dream to go, I was okay with being destroyed. It wasn't my lifelong dream....so I was down with winning the Taste of the NFL.

The first time I met Paul, Lucy, and Superstar Cady was in Phoenix for the events leading up to the Super Bowl. We got to tour the field. My favorite picture of their family was when they were laying on that Super Bowl field, as a family, smiling as though they were the happiest people on earth.

We had fun in Arizona. I love that family. Cady is the best baby girl ever. I don't remember hearing her cry the entire trip. Lucy and I quickly got along and Paul liked laughing at everything I said, because I pretty much told him how crazy my family has been since childhood. They are good stories, I mean, you can't make them up. But, that's for another day. Paul said that one of the best things about his Super Bowl experience was getting to meet me. That was such a great compliment that I'll never forget, I was glad we could make him laugh so much.

We quickly grew to love this little family and are planning a trip to visit Molly and Arash Golbon over the summer in the Bay Area. Lucy, Paul, and Cady planned on meeting up with us too. You know, an east coast west coast meet up.

Unfortunately, Paul passed away Monday night at the age of 37. This renowned neurosurgeon had succumb to the beast we have all come to know too well as lung cancer. His memory will live on through his family, friends, and all of the people he helped.

The last article he wrote made me cry like a baby. Here is an excerpt, but you can read the entire article at the link: Before I Go

"Yet one thing cannot be robbed of her futurity: my daughter, Cady. I hope I’ll live long enough that she has some memory of me. Words have a longevity I do not. I had thought I could leave her a series of letters — but what would they really say? I don’t know what this girl will be like when she is 15; I don’t even know if she’ll take to the nickname we’ve given her. There is perhaps only one thing to say to this infant, who is all future, overlapping briefly with me, whose life, barring the improbable, is all but past.

That message is simple: When you come to one of the many moments in life when you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing."

Cady was loved by her daddy, she will never not know that. And the love between Paul and Lucy was something we should all be so lucky as to experience in this lifetime. Lucy is such a wonderful soul, whom we all could tell, loved her family with all she could, as Paul did them.

So, rest in paradise Paul. You are finally free to breathe and have made such a profound mark on the lung cancer community. My news feed is seriously filled with pictures and memories of you. You probably never knew what a difference you were making, but I hope you see that now.

Please pray for Paul's wife Lucy and daughter Cady along with all of his other family and friends. They need them so bad right now.

And please pray for Molly and Arash Golbon and family. She's got a Pulmonary Embolism and they are still at the ER while I'm typing this. They have two beautiful daughters that need their mommy healthy. They've all been through so much.

And finally, please pray for another of my friends, Roy Reynolds, who was currently just admitted to the hospital as well. He's got a long road ahead of him and needs prayers and support too.

Cancer is so prevalent, I feel like I was punched by it so many times today. It wasn't really me, it was these families. But, I feel like we are all one big community, even family. I love these people like family. You get close to them for emotional support. Someone that is going through what you are. But, when you lose them, your heart breaks all over again. Thank you Tori Tomalia for letting me know so soon.

Well, it's past 5 am, so I'm going to try to sleep now. I just needed the prayers out there. And thank you all for your continuous prayers and support for my family and me. They mean so much.