Karley - My Little Heartbreaker Already

So I'm sitting here at the airport in Brunswick, GA, waiting to fly up to Atlanta so I can see a new oncologist at Emory.  This is not how I imagined my life.  As I was leaving for the airport, Karley was crying, "mommy, please don't go.  Go another time".  Oh how I wish I could say, "okay honey" and postpone this whole thing.  After all, a little girl at her school, Alexa, just gained her wings.  She had brain cancer.  Her passing hit especially close to home for Karley so I hate leaving her.  I held my tears until I got in the car and really haven't stopped crying since.

Blogging always makes me feel better though.  You don't always have to read it.  I just get such a sense of relief after I put my feelings out there.   So today, I feel like my heart is in a million tiny pieces because I had to leave.  I love my girl more than anything and it just breaks my heart to see her cry with worry.   I'm assured she's fine now.   But I know it's because she's busy.  When night comes,  and it's time for her to rest her mind and go to bed, the bad thoughts creep in.  I hate it for her.  I don't think I will ever get over this new normal.  It gets a little easier with time  but it will forever be a roller coaster.

So, we are about to board and though it's only for a few days I'll be gone, know that I love you so much my princess. When you go back and read these,  know that I love you more than you can ever imagine and it breaks my heart every time I have to leave you.   I love you sweet girl and I'm so blessed that God gave you to me.  You are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Thank you all for your continuous prayers for my family, friends, and me.  God Bless.

Psalm 127:3
Children are a gift from The Lord; they are a reward from Him.