UPDATE - Scan results and pics...(not what I hoped for but I'll take it)

So, we dropped Karley off at Georgia Southern and then I came to Atlanta for scans.  I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm still here.  I promise to let you all know if I start going downhill.  Nothing worse than reading a lung cancer friend died and you didn't get to say goodbye.

My friend Jessie and I hung out Sunday.  It was super fun.  However, her medication has begun effecting her heart.  Therefore, she's decided to discontinue it at this time.  December will be 8 years of living with lung cancer for her.

I had all of my scans yesterday in hopes that we could spread them out because copays are killing me.  The good news is, there is no knew cancer.  It is still stable and not causing any issues.

The bad news is, I've had another stroke, further damaging my brain.  It happened in the occiputal lobe I believe from the results. It's a distinct FLAIR so my oncologist is getting with my neuro-oncologist on how to proceed.  For now, I'm still on blood thinners and am starting a baby asprin in the mornings.

I have noticed that not only is my memory declining, but it's becoming harder for me to think of words or even spell them.  (so no jokes peeps!). And sometimes I feel like my eyes are crossing.  I'm following up again in 3 months.

I feel very blessed that I'm still here and got to help Karley move in to college.  I got to watch her graduate.  These are milestones that were virtually impossible in 2012.  And some of my closest friends didn't get to experience these.  I know God isn't done with me yet.

Please don't take this as a discouraging post.  It's far from it.  It's been almost 11 years!  And I've had a very good life and don't plan on going anywhere.  But if I do, my friends and family (especially my girl Karley) better remember how much I love them and no tears.  None of us are guaranteed tomorrow.  

You know I love to throw in pics of milestones and my girl and things we do.  

I did lose my best friend, Amanda.  I can't remember what happened, but I know she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.  I'be been worried about her.  I think I worried too much..  We were going to live together after our kids went to college. Because I can't afford to live without a roommate with disability.  So, within a year my entire life plan changed.  I really don't have a plan at the moment.  It's just hard thinking about everything and everyone I've lost over the past few years.

But here are some milestone and fun day pics.  Enjoy and I'll keep you all updated. Oh yeah, we moved out of our house after 8 years.  It was sad.  So many great memories. It's so crazy.  Where do I go from here? (besides more doctors 😞)

Like no more strokes?

My Heart

Jessie

These things terrify me

Had to get a selfie

Too fast - I remember signing her up for school here

The "moms" - our kids have been friends since Kindergarten

Graduation was freezing rain

Last mother daughter day before college- Barbie-I cried

Yes..She did that to her coach while walking at graduation. lol

Family Photo

Oglethorpe Point Elementary Class of 2023

Moms and daughters in that order -we go WAY back

Graduation and Jennifer Goare made it!

The dynamic duo

Georgia Southern Bound Pirates

Best friends and Varsity Volleyball stars

Class of 2023

One of my favorite senior pics

Counselor in training - Camp Connect

Got to see my lil sis and nieces after 2 years!

Karley's Dorms

GA Southern move-in day

My favorite pic of these two Besties

Love these girls

Lost

 It's now March 2023.  Never, in my wildest dreams did I think I would survive this long.  It's somewhat of a catch 22 at this point.  I'm so blessed that I'm here and will get to see Karley graduate, then she'll be off to college.

I didn't plan to make it this long.  What am I supposed to do now?  I get ssdi. in the amount of $2,000 a month.  I have good and bad days and I have to move this summer.  My former boss gave me some money to pay off any debts and I could not be more grateful for the time he has been in my life.  17 years, he's like a second father.

It'll be 2 years this month since my dad left us to go home to the Lord.  I thought I would go before everyone, but God keeps me here.  

And at this path in my life, I'm not sure what to do.  I can't afford rent, utilities, groceries, dr. appts and car insurance on my income.  Much less help Karley.  I had a plan for someone to help me out, that I've been counting on forever.  I would do the books and he would pay my rent.  

Well, that didn't work out and I just found out yesterday.  The week that I've had has been unbelievable.  For two weeks I was hardcore working day and night.  I was exhausted and thought it was part time, had no idea so much would be involved.   It was so stressful I'm still tired.  I did the best I could, but sometimes people can be so caught up in what they are doing, they don't see what you can still bring to the table.   

My friend and co-owner of the antique store I have a booth in was stabbed in the neck by a homeless person.  We weren't sure if he was going to make it and I kept thinking I stepped away from a lot of the lung cancer community, and he was safe.  So I wouldn't lose this friend.  And just the fact I almost did sent me over the edge.  Of course I looked incompetent to my new job so that is out the window.  

I think I'm having PTSD or something.  I just feel pain in my stomach to my heart.  It's hard to focus and concentrate.  I really want to not move, but I don't have a choice since my landlord has been so kind and let me stay so long.  

And now I'm not working with that guy anymore, someone I've counted on, how do I live?  I can't afford my own place but want one so Karley can visit.  Without her I feel numb.  If anyone is looking for a bookkeeper or someone to help set up HR, please let me know.   Or any ideas at this point would be great.  I'm so tired and lost and have just given it to God.  Anyway, any suggestions would be great.  Even open to a roommate.  I'll post more later.  I'm suddenly so tired.  I'll continue tomorrow.  Good night all