Hope

Hope

Friday, January 22, 2021

Catch up - And Scan results

I have seriously been neglecting my poor blog.  Between learning to walk again and the holidays, it's been non stop.  So....this is going to be a quick catch up.

I learned to walk again and by my birthday (Halloween), I was dressed in costume and house decorated so I could hand out to trick or treaters.  I never do this because I've always worked or had Karley.  But after my stroke, I felt like I had a new lease on life.  (Pic overload below)

I met someone I've been seeing since October.  He's pretty awesome and helped me out tremendously along with my mom in my stroke recovery.  I'm happy to say that I've regained all of walking skills and have totally recovered.  It didn't come without falls.  But it's going to take more to take out this cockroach DNA. (recovering pic below)

On 11/27/20 I celebrated my 8 year Cancerversary by eating pudding for breakfast and laying around all day.  2020 was a dumpster fire.  But my cockroach DNA is still thriving.  There are few reasons why and I'll mention them throughout.  

First, as soon as Halloween was over I put up Christmas decorations.  That's right.  November 1st.  My daughter just looked at me like I was crazy, as did her father.  It always drove him nuts when I decorated early.  Even Paul, the new guy I'm dating, probably thought I was a little crazy.  But at least my crazy didn't scare him off.  My only thought process was "I'll decorate for Christmas, that'll make everything better".  Yeah....it didn't.  Don't get me wrong, I loved the lights at Jekyll and our cozy little home all decorated, and always love celebrating Christ, but things were still bad.

So, I began selling all of my furniture and replacing it.  I've gotten so good at thrift shopping I actually made a profit!  If you saw my house before Thanksgiving of last year, it has TOTALLY changed.  I started with the couch.  I found a great one that didn't smell like cat urine at a thrift store.  The owner was amazing and walked around to show me all of the couches on facetime since I didn't want to risk it.  So, shout out to "Junk for your Trunk" thrift store in Brunswick!  And this is how my transformation began.

I love the Holderness family.  So when I watched the video of the things she's done, I felt like we were related.  My daughter has a new "vintage" bedroom suite with a queen bed now.  Our spare room is no longer an art room but an actual spare room with a full bed.  Any of my friends wanting to visit this summer, lets get vaccinated and covid tested and come stay with me for free!  The beach is a whole 4 miles from my house.  After redoing every room besides the kitchen of my house, I decided to declutter.  I sold so much furniture and so many electronics.  I currently have 5 full bags of clothes for a yard sale.  And the longer I stay home..the more decluttering will come.  It's like a want a new home and can't have one so decided to redo mine.  And I bought an old wii with some "Just Dance" games.  Great exercise after a stroke.  I'm back at 100% physically.  Mentally...it's never been 100%.  I've included the video from the holderness family below.  It's the one where Kim is my spirit animal.  I never realized until I saw it that I wasn't the only one going absolutely crazy.  And NYE didn't put that dumpster fire out.  It just kept burning.

I tried to stay away from the news.  I have enough on my plate.  And they say "ignorance is bliss".  There have been no truer words ever spoken.

Tuesday, my daughter took her driving test.  She is now a legal driver, with her own car.  My extended family helped me tremendously.  I'll have two small car payments for a while and quite a few medical bills.  But, I can only pay what I can pay.  I would've much rather been on a vacation for the price I'm paying back to the hospital for the stroke.  Could've toured Europe!

I feel so blessed that not only did I get to see my daughter pass her driving test, but I got to see her get in her car and smile excitedly and wave goodbye to me.  Of course I cried.  But they were tears of joy.  I never thought I would see this day much less ride with her during it.  I am just praising God tremendously.  My life isn't perfect.  It's a disaster.  But I know what's important and material possessions are not.  The love for my daughter cannot be described. It's everlasting, as is my love for Christ.

Lung cancer is severely underfunded.  So, a few members of our Lung Cancer Community are working on "The White Ribbon Project".  Its up to us to get the funding and make others aware.  I've attached a few of the pics we did.  Heidi and Pierre made this ribbon and so many more to send across the country.  Mine now resides in the cancer institute at Piedmont Hospital.

And finally, I'll wrap this up and promise to get back to posting more.  My scans yesterday showed no evidence of active cancer.  Just the same two dormant tumors.  We still have to find out why I'm having strokes, but the news to my family, friends, and myself couldn't have come at a better time.  It's like we are beginning to slowly awake from this crazy year.  Baby steps of course.

Thank you all for your continuous prayers.  Please pray for my dad, his friends, and so many of my friends.  Survivors guilt has really done a number on me mentally this year.  But, I know I need to keep going.  Showing my daughter to always pray and don't give up, even if you're told no the first time.  Keep trying.  Sometimes it pays off and God answers those prayers.

Thank you all for following my journey through this crazy thing called life.  You've all seen my family change and get older and that sweet 7 year old when I was diagnosed is driving now.  It's incredible.  God has a plan for us all.  Don't doubt that, it could lead you down a very dark path.  I'm prepared to handle what comes my way.  I have faith that He sees the big picture and everything happens for a reason.

God bless you all and I'll write more in a couple of weeks.   Mucho shorter next time!



Halloween - Up and walking (mostly) and decorations out







I fell quite a few times learning to walk again

of course this is where they would send me for a new neurologist

We miss you Kelly Kayuk


Christmas 2020



Lights at Jekyll


Yep, I rode in a Cinderella carriage 









Picture Day - White Ribbon


"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world.  Indeed it is the only thing that ever has" - Margaret Mead

Scans Yesterday


My favorite Oncologist/Doctor ever!  Dr. William Jonas - He's been with me since Day 1

Karley turned 16 and is driving!








I love these girls all grew up together and are still so close.  Mine is the second tallest in the back.



Click above for the video I was referring too.  The Holderness Family on YouTube.  I love this family.

















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