Will This Roller Coaster Ever Stop?

So, it's been 5 days since my last post.  Already that roller coaster is flying downhill.  I'm not feeling cancer sick.  I'm feeling cancer sad.  This is my life now, like so many others.  I live in a resort area where good work is hard to find and stressful.  At least my old job was, but it paid the bills.  Stress isn't good for cancer, and I plan on living a long time by the grace of God.   I'm also tired a lot but recently started taking some vitamins.  I want to work again but just get exhausted after a few hours in the office.   I also don't want to work full time, I want as much time with Karley as possible.

Therefore, as of now, disability is my best option considering I have no idea when the tarceva will quit and I'm trying to get as much done as I can before it does.  Unfortunately. I'm now forced into Medicare.  Which, I don't know how in the world people understand it.  And it's more expensive than my previous insurance.  Sorry people, I tried not to take Medicare.  It's frustrating not understanding anything.  Plus trying to get new insurance for my daughter isn't a walk in the park either.  For me, more deductibles and co insurance on disability income in this area is financially breaking me.  I stay here so john and Karley can remain close though.  I want them to always be close.  Being a single mom and juggling this stinks.  John has been a lot of help.  He takes her 3 nights a week and that gives me some rest.  My stress level is just insane right now.  I guess I just wish my family were closer, as were my doctors.

And we are moving to a house on the island.  The rent is less and it's not the third floor.  No more stairs but moving and costs are crazy too.  Thank goodness for my mom and john right now.

This isn't how I pictured my life.  I guess not many people are living the life they pictured either.  I guess it would be nice to have family close to comfort Karley in the event something happened.  But I trust God to take care of that.  He will give me the right people in my life here.

Sorry for the ranting.  I can't sleep and so tired.  Thank you for your continuous prayers and please keep them up for us as well as Carmen Frye  and Jon Hicks.  All cancer survivors still fighting like me.  And please take some extra time to pray for Gretchen Mitchell Anderson.  She is fighting the brain cancer so hard.  It's a monster.  She needs extra prayers tonight.

Silver lining today:  I cried and it felt good

Good night all.  And God Bless You!

Matthew 19:26.