A Pill A Day...

Or 10...

So, I've been on a strict routine with my meds. When I wake up I eat and take meds. Two hours later I take one that has to be taken on an empty stomach. Two hours after that, eat. Two hours after eating, same pill on an empty stomach. Another two hours later I eat again. Then, about 3 hours later I take 3 pills.

Today was the exception. I had my annual appointment at my local doctor. "Nothing to eat or drink after midnight". My appt was at 9 am. So, decided to go ahead with the pill that is taken on an empty stomach before taking Karley to school. Big mistake. I got sick in the car after dropping her off and was on the couch all day after the doctor.

I've learned, I need food when I wake up every morning. I guess next time I just start the whole routine late instead of mixing it up.

Other than that, nothing major is going on. Just anticipating my appts on Friday at Piedmont.
The sermon at church was especially inspirational yesterday. It focused on Acts 3 and 4, when Peter heals the beggar in the name of Jesus, and the beggar jumped and walked and praised God. God healed the man through His grace.

Not everyone was able to accept these truths.

The name of Jesus is powerful.

Acts 3:16
"And by faith in his name, this man, whom you see and know, his name has made strong, and the faith that comes through it has given him this perfect health, in the presence of all of you."

Finally, I know this blog has been all over the place, but one more item...

Please pray for an old friend, Tim Gravitt. He's my age and is now in a medically induced coma because of his health issues. He needs plenty of prayers.

God Bless You All!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Side Effects

So it's been approximately 2 weeks since starting the Tarceva.  So far the side effects aren't nearly as bad as the traditional chemo would have been.

I've developed a moderate rash across my back, chest, and face.   The worst of it is on my face of course, and I can't really wear make up because it just irritates it.   It looks like acne, but it's not.  I'm not complaining though, it could always be worse.  I just itch a lot.  Rashes are supposed to be a good sign that the meds are effective.

Also, the back of my head from the craniotomy is still sore.  I'm not sure how long it takes to heal, but I'm sure I'l find that out at the neurologist appt. Feb. 1st.   I have both an MRI and chest x-ray that day.

I've totally changed everything in my diet.  I've avoided sugar and processed foods as much as possible and haven't had anything but water for the past 4 days.  Raw veggies and fruits are best.  I bought a great book by a Stage IV Lung Cancer survivor diagnosed in 1984.   He wrote it last year.  He obviously did something right, I'm taking his advice.   He actually collected surveys from many survivors to find out what they did to survive, and compounded  all of the commonalities in a book. It all makes sense...

I was put on anti-depressants in Houston.  I feel like they've helped, but it's only been 2 weeks, they aren't fully effective until approximately a month has passed.   I have my days, but every time I feel like I'm going to get upset, I look to God.  It's truly amazing how much better I feel just by praying to Him.

I've always gone to church off and on.  I've always believed and was even saved around 13, but rarely did I really reach out to God.  The only time I did was when I wanted something.  

Now, I thank Him for the blessings I have.   It seems like we only call on Him during the bad times instead of thanking Him for every day and every blessing we have.   Yes, I still pray that He will heal me.   But, in the same sentence I thank Him for everything I have and every day He has given me.  I focus on Him and I don't think about the cancer.  I think about living.  He is the final word, not a doctor or the natural law of the universe.   In Him I find peace, and the peace I find is better than any medication.   You just have to completely let go and trust in Him to lead you in the right direction.  It's very hard, but if you can do it, it will change your life forever.

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

One last item to mention.   Earlier this week I posted a blog about Karley's birthday party.   An old friend, Andy Smith, put this linked video together for us: Karley's 8th Birthday Party

It's fantastic! Please check it out if you haven't already.  He is very talented.   Thank you so much Andy! And thank you for the song choice Poppy!  

Happy Birthday Karley!

Finally back home in St. Simons after an exciting weekend in Atlanta to celebrate Karley's birthday.  It was great, such a turnout.   We haven't had her party in Atlanta in a several years, so to have a few of our old friends and family there was fantastic!

Brad and Mandy Busch were so sweet to host her party at their house.   We had a dance competition going (which I lost to Maddie Briscoe).  Yes, the adults were playing this too.   The kids also played soccer, basketball, and busted a guitar pinata.   It was hilarious, those kids do not play around when it comes to candy.   And, Ashleigh Glass is apparently a superstar basketball player - so play Ash!

All in all, Karley had a fabulous time and did not want to go to bed that night.  Here are a few of the special moments we captured:

I am truly blessed to have such a sweet little girl and great support system.   I thank the Lord every day now for these blessings that I took for granted before.   These little moments, the ones that creep up on you and are gone before you realize it.   Not anymore for me.  I'm taking my time and enjoying every moment.  No worrying about anything but the here and now, because living in the past or worrying about the future isn't really living.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Piedmont Follow Up Today

I had my follow up at Piedmont today.  I've decided to stay with my Oncologist here in Atlanta unless the Tareceva proves ineffective.

Of course, no new news.   I asked if he still had as much "hope" as before, and of course it was, "Samantha, you have stage IV mestatic lung cancer.  But the good news is, you can use Tarceva which has a 70% chance of being effective in stopping the growth/spread and shrinking the primary tumor.  You have a 50% chance of it being effective for 2 years or longer".  That beats 12-18 month survival!

He has one patient that has been on it 3 years and now NED (no evidence of disease).  I also asked if the Tarceva killed the cells in my left lung, could we treat it as a stage III since it would be localized.   He explained that the cancer could be all throughout my body, we don't know since MD Anderson only did a chest CT Scan.   Either way, at this point, the best thing to do is take the Tarceva, chest x-ray in 2 weeks and full body CT Scan after 3 months on the medication.   So, 3 months of not knowing if it's effective.

But, the good news is, after all of this, I didn't shed a tear.   All I thought about was Karley's actual birthday party!   I know that this cancer is beyond my control.

I rejoice today, and refuse to worry about tomorrow.  Staying in continual communication with Jesus Christ allows me to live above my circumstances, even while I'm in the midst of them.  I give Him thanks for today!  Please keep your prayers coming, I still need them!

Now, to the birthday party planning for Saturday!!!  I'll keep everything updated on here continuously if/when things change!

Updates from SSI

We arrived Saturday evening.   I didn't tackle Karley as she would've won that match!   But we sure hugged for a long time.

Sunday we went to church.  I love my church, it's so inspiring and it's one of those churches where people are there for the right reasons, not just to show up.  After church Karley, Stephen, Bella, and I went to the park.  It was a nice day, but I was so cold!

Today was absolutely beautiful.  It started out a little rough.  Apparently, I'm moving a little slower than I once did.  It was my first day taking  Karley to school this semester.  Yes, we were late.  Not because of Karley, but because I took a 30 min shower.  I'm so used to washing my hair gently because of the tenderness, but I've now discovered I need to get up a tad earlier.  Learning something new every day.

After signing her in, I went to work for a few hours.   It was nice to get back to some normalcy.   Then, I went shopping for Karley a new dress.   My little girl is going to be 8 TOMORROW!  Her daddy and her are making cupcakes for the entire class (well, her daddy had to finish because it got late and she had to come home to eat, etc.).

She's growing up so fast!  She's my world, I'm so happy to be with her again!  She'll be with me tomorrow night too, then I head back to Atlanta Wednesday for an appt. Thursday morning.   No worries, she'll be right behind me on Friday!

Every day gets easier as my faith gets stronger.  One day at a time, keeping my eyes on the Lord.

Going home!

I'm heading back to St Simons today to see my favorite person in the entire world, my baby girl Karley!   She will be turning 8 this Tuesday!   Growing up so fast, time just flies!  

My friends Reggie, Amanda, Brad, Mandy, and Poppy have come over the past few nights to hang out, make me laugh, and just take my mind away from reality.  And my friend Sonja is driving me down to St Simons today and back Wed  for my oncologist appt at piedmont.  I'm blessed to have so many great friends, family, supporters, prayer warriors and donors to the fund Brook set up.

My life is no longer what it was, I'm still processing that and it's hard to deal with.  I sometimes feel like I'm letting loved ones down, even though I know it's not my fault, I can't help but have that sadness some days.

I have my faith, and against all that is natural in me, I'm trying to not make a plan b.  My only plan is to live, and I will do whatever it takes.   Giving that burden of worry to God is the best thing I can do to enjoy life.    Dwelling on things beyond my control isn't helpful, it's more hurtful to my fight.  This is very hard not to do, but that's where faith comes in.

I'm on day 4 of tarceva.   It gives me stomaches and makes me so tired.   All I do is lay around but can't sleep.  I'm sure it will improve with time.

For now, not much news here other than I'm going home!  And I may tackle Karley and hug her so much that I never let her go.  I'm so glad that I won't be missing her birthday, even if it meant leaving MD Anderson with the bad news.   I was tired of being away, tired of tests, and tired of hospitals.  I needed this break.  

It will be short lived since I have appts at piedmont 1/17 and 2/1. I'm supposed to follow up in Houston Feb 4&5 but am considering Piedmont because its closer to home.   I don't know yet.  I plan on discussing with the oncologist Thursday.  

I hope you all have a blessed day.  Enjoy every moment, we are never promised tomorrow.

I'm going home, and taking my faith with me!

Back in Atlanta

So, I know it's early and I'll probably go back to sleep soon, but felt like blogging.  Yesterday was one of the hardest days thus far.   It's like they said, "Pack your bags, there's nothing we can do".

But, that's not it.  I understand that the cancer spread and is inoperable now, but after researching the medication I was put on (also advised by Mayo and approved by Piedmont) I am very comfortable with this outcome.

If I would have stayed, they were soon planning to remove the tumor in the right lung, I'm assuming, with all of the tests I was going through and had scheduled (but then cancelled after after the CT Scan results).  Quite frankly, my body is kind of tired of tests and surgeries so being given a pill that has a 70% chance of being effective at stopping the growth and possibly even regressing the cancer for a while, then I'm good with it.   The doctors explained it will one day become ineffective because my body will build up a tolerance, but by then, I can only pray that there will be another drug to try.

Who knows?  Maybe before I begin resisting it, it could regress the cancer so much, that maybe it won't be, "surgery isn't an option" but will be "there isn't anything to remove".   After all, the doctors words are not final, only God's word is final.  And, while waiting for the flight at the Houston Airport last night, I felt kinda good.  This pill is going to allow me to go home and work and live normally for a few weeks at a time (I will have follow ups every few weeks).

Right now I'm trying to decide between Piedmont, Mayo, and MD Anderson as my primary caretaker.  Mayo-close to SSI, Piedmont - saved my life originally and great docs/equipment, MD Anderson - Best in the country, but so far away from home (which made me really depressed) and put me on Tarceva (same as Mayo and Piedmont were going to do).  It's a tough decision, but I'm hoping the Lord will lead me to the right place.

Today is going to be a good day.  I'm almost home with Karley (will be by Friday or Saturday) but at least home in Atlanta.  I'm staying a few days in case I have a reaction to the new meds, Piedmont is very close.

I feel better today...I don't have control over this cancer.   It's not God's fault, it's Satan's way of making me doubt my faith.  There are some days that are hard, and I may come close, but I am not going to lose faith or hope.  I believe He is in control.  As hard as it is for me, and totally not in my nature, I need to just let go and let Him take care of things.  That is what faith is really all about anyways, right?

Matthew 19:26

In faith,

Sam