Results of the Cautiously Optimistic

I went in for my results yesterday.  As with the other radiation I've had to my lung, it's very cloudy and sometimes we aren't able to fully tell anything for months to a year.  We are going to try to keep me on petscans so we can find anything growing, but you know insurance companies...

So, nothing lit up on my new pet scan, which is nothing short of the work of God!  I feel so blessed that he continues to lead my oncologist into making the right decisions for me.  So, what does this mean?  It means they found no active cancer!  I say cautiously optimistic because the cloud is there, but I'll take that win!

We've started joking around that my father and I have cockroach DNA.  I know, sounds supergross, but we get knocked down and get back up and keep on going.  I'm not sure how many lives we are on now.  So, cockroach DNA for the win this time!

I do give it all to God  There is a reason I'm still here as well as my wonderful parents.  I trust in his reasoning wholeheartedly.  I may have had a few anxiety attacks...but I have kept the faith. 

When I was packing, one of Karley's cats had his own anxiety attack and ran away.  He was gone for two days and the worrying about that along with scans was making me nuts.  But early, the morning of my scan results, my dear friend Jennifer called to let me know he came home.  I was overjoyed, and it was then, I knew it would be a good day.  Pics below, the orange one was missing and his sister was either trying to scare him from coming back or waiting on him.  I'm not sure.

My next scan will be in December.  At that point I will have surpassed 7 years on my first line treatment of tarceva.  We've had some bumps in the road but have been coming out on top each time.  I ask you all to continue to pray that I keep going, especially for my daughter.  Statistics are still not good and I continue to surpass them.

Please pray for my four friends from Jonesboro High School who also have cancer, we started our own group chat. 

I met Angela Miller for lunch.  Let me just say you are in for a real treat if you try holding a conversation with either of us.  We forget words, get confused on topics of discussion, forget in an instant what we are saying.  It did make me laugh longer than I have in a while though.  I hate she's going through this too but I't makes me feel a little better that I'm not a mess by myself.   Please pray for her, she has 3 little ones she loves so much.  I know how hard it is to have your world turn upside down.  Its devastating. 

My dearest friend in St. Simons recently got diagnosed with breast cancer.  Honestly....it's not contagious!  I swear I'm not giving it to people! 

As for now, I will live these 3 months and put cancer in the back of my mind once again.  Between it's return and then pneumonia, I haven't felt well since probably April.  I'm now breathing better and so glad we recognized the pneumonia.  I may be still tired from that...but I will so be back to the silliness that makes me whole very soon.

I love you all and cannot thank you enough for all the well wishes and prayers that you guys sent for me.  I'm always here for you if you need anything.  God bless you all.  And here are a few pics below.  Please enjoy the ones I stole from my daughters Instagram page!  Homecoming 2019!  Oh, and one more from NYC with the world trade center in the back....

I Thought I was Back

Since the end of July, I have been so sickly.  I was tired all the time and it took all I could to do anything.  I wasn't able to help my old boss much in August, I kept getting worse to the point I was exhibit A below most of the time.

We went to a Peer Medical Event in NYC promoting Lung Force.  Both are amazing groups, and if you haven't signed up for peer medical and are egfr, it's still in the trial stages but is an amazing gift to us.  Email me if you're interested and I'll pass along your info.  It's a great source for finding people like yourself and comparing and discussing treatments, anonymously of course unless you send a request and the other person accepts.

While there, I spent most of my time sleeping.  We had a mandatory evacuation for the recent hurricane so changed our flight to go out of atlanta.  I made the trip up with my daughter.  We went to NYC and that's when I started to realize it was something more than just fatigue.

After getting home I spent a week at my mother's.  I was so sick, my immune system shot from radiation.  Josh took Karley home for me and I stayed.  Luckily my friend Jennifer didn't mind watching my carsick dog and my dad our to old cats. 

After about a week I knew I had to go home, I missed my baby so much.  John and Meghann were great keeping her and getting her ready for home coming.  After about a week of being home, I finally rolled myself out of bed, put on shoes, and went to the doctor.  I had only been out of the house a handful of times since July.  I was (and still am) getting so confused over following directions and remembering things.  I would like to say it's my age, but these are simple words I can't come up with.  I know it drives my friends crazy.  Please be patient with me.  I forget everything.

After doing a chest x-ray and sputnum test, I discovered I had radiation induced pneumonia.  All those months I was sleeping.  I shouldn't have been so hard headed and gone.  This type of pneumonia, like others, can kill you if you don't eventually do something about it.

So, I'm finishing the last of my medication and starting to feel so much better.  I feel like the last 3 months have been a blur.  I guess too much sleep?  And my lack of being able to remember anything has led to a severe decline in the writing I do on the side for extra money.

Anyway, It's scan week and an as usual, I'm a little worried of something lighting up.  Maybe a little more worried than normal since these are the first scans since my cancer returned.  I'm back to PetScans for now to look for active cancer.  I don't mind them, but I do mind the sleepless nights ahead.  I will know on Friday if it worked hopefully.  Sometimes it's hard to tell.

I'm just so tired of being tired.  Your prayers have kept me going past the average survival rate, so please don't give up on me.  I get knocked down, but I've always gotten back up.

During all of this, I lost a dear friend, Terry Karlstad.  It's been pretty devastating. His wife, Sorina, has been such an angel on earth and I'm praying for her and all of Terry's family.  I remember when he began messaging me that it came back and it had been 18 years of dealing with it.  He was tired.  We tried to have lunch together but he was in the hospital so I had lunch there with the idea we would go somewhere when he got out.  He never got well enough.  His death really hurt, not just me, but the entire lung cancer community as well.  I miss this man who always reminded me he loved me and always called me Kiddo.  When he wanted off social media, he would go silent but he told me he was tired.  I know he had to be.  We go through so much, sometimes it's just too much.  That man held on for so long.  I know he's in a better place, I just miss the hell out of him.

Well, in other news, Karley had her first homecoming and got to play for the varsity team in volleyball.  She's growing up so fast, I don't want to miss a minute but feel like I've been very boring lately.  I'll add some pics below.

But as of now, please pray these scans go well.  I want to see my baby girl graduate high school and college and get married and have children.  I know it's a reach, but I'm reaching hard.

Also, please pray for my friends Angela and Chris, both recently diagnosed with separate cancers as well.  We all went to school together.  I feel like that place is cursed.

Anyway, I'll let you guys know about the scan results Friday.  I need as many prayers as possible.  Love you all and I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update.  God bless you guys.  And sorry for any grammatical errors, hoping this confusion and loss of words goes away soon.

Me over the Past 3 months basically

New York (I was exhausted but excited to be a part of helping this team)

Karley's First Varsity Game (courtesy of the Brunswick News)

 Karley's First Homecoming (courtesy of John and Meghann)

I can't believe we've come so far.  She was in 2nd grade when I was diagnosed.  Now she's a freshman in high school.  And I couldn't be more proud of this girl, the best thing I ever did.