It was decided I needed Stereotactic Body Radiation Therapy (SBRT). I've had this treatment before but it was in my lower lobe. Now, it's in my upper lobe. There is a world of difference when it comes to these two areas.
I can't totally remember what it felt like back then, but I can tell you about now.
My fatigue is out of control. I went to bed around 4 pm yesterday and just had to use the restroom so thought I would catch everyone up.
So, my main concerns are the scratchiness I feel around my esophagus. I can't seem to clear my throat and I'm afraid to try to hard since it's such a delicate area. I'm finding comfort in warm soup and cold drinks. My energy is so bad, I don't even feel like chewing. But, at least I have an appetite so there's a silver lining.
Another side effect (or maybe it's just there again) are migraines. Sometimes these headaches are unbearable. I have pain medication but am having to ration it. It would be such a crime for me to get addicted to pain killer since I literally have a cancer that is trying to kill me. I mean really, give a girl a break and at least ease the pain.
I'm also having difficulty swallowing, nausea, and increased coughing. I've also noticed my lung capacity isn't what it used to be. And the very best part is the headaches. Nothing says "you keep getting run over by the same dump truck" like these damn headaches.
I quit reading the side effects when they began describing "fatal bleeding". Sometimes you just have to live in the "ignorance is bliss" state of mind and let God do the rest.
In other news, I was nominate for a few WEGO awards. Two of them were nominations by someone else. I, however, nominated myself for most hilarious patient, which is typical me and SO vain. I may not be, but I think I have a shot. I do have some stiff competition in the lung cancer world, with people like Terry Karlstad and Cliff Norton. And Sharon girl, you totally get me.
In all honesty, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for God, Karley, and the ability to still laugh, even in the most dire of situations. Some call it morbid, I call it reality with a twist. I'm not going to let this cancer take away my sense of humor. It takes so much as it is, I have some control over what it doesn't take.
In other news, my baby left and hopefully I will be reunited with her next weekend. She was so sweet while here. She would lay down and we would fall asleep together watching movies. I miss her so much already and know she has to be worried about her "ma". No idea where that child gets some of these things.
Anyway, I'm about to go back to sleep. I haven't been up for company lately. I would just fall asleep. I'm not sure how long these side effects will last but I've had a few people offer to bring food when I get home. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very prideful person, but sometimes it's okay to let people help you. It makes them feel like they are helping and you feel less stressed. There are angels here among us. And if anyone wants to bring food until I can be myself again beginning next week in St Simons, your offer will not be declined in the least!
I can probably make a schedule or something when I'm not so tired. I'll have to hand it to you radiation, you are kicking my ass this time. Last time was so much easier. I'm afraid I'll break something internally if I cough to hard.
Ok, enough rambling. Here is the link to the WEGO site where I have the nominations from two amazing people, well 3 amazing people if we count my own nomination. Probably don't deserve it right now because I'm miserable...but I did when I nominated myself for it. Anywho, here is the link if you want to vote for me. I think I get to go on a trip. There are also ways to contact me on there if you need anything. I never mind helping people as much as possible.
Samantha's WEGO Nominations
Thank you for your relentless prayers and please continue praying for me and so many of my lung cancer friends right now, Erin, Linnea and Terry especially. It feels like a lot of long term survivors have hit a patch and are really skating on thin ice. I discuss my future with my oncologist on Wednesday after radiation. I will let you all know what's going on.
Thank you all for your support and God Bless you all. Here are a few pics for this post. I'm really digging my hair...and my sweet sleeping angel. And almost forgot, we went on a safari before I started treatment. Thank you Brad and Mandy for taking us. We had so much fun! Lots of pics and videos on my personal page.