It was so nice to actually have a conversation with her and spend time with her alone. We talked about school, friends, home and church. I loved every second of it.
But, I understand now mom. It's sad. I used to do no wrong, be the center of her world. Now, I'm lucky if she smiles at me. She's at the age where she's into being on her phone, music (earbuds drive me crazy), sports, and friends. No time for mama, unless she needs something. But, like I said, I know this is normal. I just never thought my little snugly girl would like being away from me. I am blessed she's not at that bipolar stage yet, but she's teetering. One minute she loves me, the next she's mad because I won't take her somewhere.
Yes, this is what I wanted though. I wanted to experience all of the parenting. The good, bad, and the ugly. I didn't want to leave this world without having arguments over chores and grades with her. Call me crazy, but I needed this time and continue to need this time. She is a total "daddy's girl" and I'm so happy for that. Albeit, I am a bit jealous, but in the long run, the bond they have is so strong, it will see her through some rough days.
I hope she always knows that I know she loves me very much. And I know this is a normal part of growing up, especially for girls. I know all this, because I did all this too. I'm sorry mom! But, I'm sure you know that and like me, I'm sure you know that I love you unconditionally. My love for Karley is greater than I can ever put into words, and I know she loves me right back.
Thank you for all of your continuous prayers for not only me, but my friends. Some are not doing so well. This roller coaster never ends and I'm so afraid of losing someone really close. It's harder to sleep lately. I've just been so tired but can't sleep. I pray for strength from God for all of this. Also, I have scans Sept. 15th so prayers are so much appreciated. This is the first time I've gone longer than 3 months without a scan.
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