Monday, March 19, 2018

No Ordinary Day and Help!!!

Today has been one for the books.  Not in a good way.  It's been pure exhaustion. 

It all began Friday night when we discovered Stitch, our rescue baby, had a really bad ear infection.  He also gets car sick.  My vet is 12 miles away.  So, I was going to take him tomorrow since I had an eye appt today and needed to go grocery shopping.

Well, here's where it went wrong.  I woke up.

I decided I needed to take him this morning because I could tell it was bothering him so bad.  I'm nauseated in the mornings, every morning.  But, I was going to risk it for the baby.  Bad idea.  I pack up the car with the seat cover because I know he's going to vomit.  Get everything ready and head out.

As I was halfway there, Stitch began vomiting.  Okay, I had the canvas.  Well, he decided he wanted to jump to the front and vomit on the passenger floor.  I tried to make him go to the bathroom before leaving, but it was raining and he wouldn't.  So after he vomited, he immediately goes to the back and takes a huge, smelly poop on the canvas.  At this point I just want to thank God no one was next to me.  I crossed two lanes to pull over as I was dry heaving. 

I took the canvas out and threw it away.  I couldn't take the smell.  I finally made it to the vet, covered in dog slobber and really trying not to vomit myself.  I was nearly in tears.

The ladies were wonderful and when I got into the room, it became a domino effect.  I began vomiting in the room's garbage can.  The staff brought be a diet sprite.  It didn't do much.  They then suggested I leave, go clean my car, and go get a kennel and come back for the dog.  I immediately headed to a car wash.  It took me several times to find a vacuum that actually works.  I can now mark being asked to leave the vet off of my bucket list.  I mean, who does that happen too?  Me of course!

Next, still nauseated, I found a phenegren in my purse.  They may make me sleepy, but I knew I wasn't going to stop.  It did the trick.  I went and spent $112 on a kennel and some other stuff I needed for the animals and house.  I even got bowls for long trips for the cats. 

Then, I drove back to St. Simons for my eye doctor where I spent $228. Since my eyesight has improved, I needed glasses.  They gave me gum too (much needed).  Pretty sure it was my breath at this point. I had been cleaning vomit and feces before this appoint, so who knows. 

I arrived back at the vet to pick up Stitch (back in Brunswick), where he had a yeast infection in his ear, was given a steroid shot and both ears were treated with antibiotics that should clear it totally within two weeks.  I dropped another $286.  This time I had him in a crate.  It was a much smoother ride, event though he was covered in vomited AGAIN.

I stopped by to pick up my groceries I ordered online and spent another $105. 

So, today, I spent $700 I don't have.  It was awful.  I don't have credit cards anymore since filing Chapter 7, and now my medical bills are coming in.  My dad decided he wanted to do a fundraiser for me.  I mentioned it in my last blog.  They came up with a date, and it would be great to have a big crowd to come out.  I really look forward to seeing everyone.  It seems like it's going to be a Jonesboro reunion (except Dustin). Plus my family and friends, so good times all around.  I'm putting the flyer on here.  And they also started a GoFundMe account.  I'm attaching a link to that too.  Yes, I am stubborn and don't want to ask for anything, but $700 in one month is awful.  My income is just not enough to cover anything like what I had to do today.   I cried at both the vet and eye doctor.  I'm sure they must think I'm a total head case.  Well, right now, I am.  I'm so very stressed.  My 5 day hospital stint is costing a small fortune along with the many scans I had back in January.  I go back and April and will accrue more bills.  I need a savings account for medical bills or other unexpected expenses and I need to start a trust for Karley.  That is what this money will be used for.  After all my bills are paid, my net income is $28.  It's scary at this point.  As if cancer didn't give me enough to worry about.

I just wanted to say, although today was AWFUL, I was ALIVE.  And I was able to do this all.  And for that, thank you God.  Thank you all for your continuous prayers.  And if you think you're having a bad day, just come back and read this blog and imagine me covered in vomit, dry heaving from the dog straight up taking a huge crap in the back seat.  The vomit I could handle.  The other, awful.  Picture in my head now....priceless.

I'll remind you all when it gets closer.  Any amount helps but if you just want to come see me, I'll be there all day.  There's tons of you I would love to see.  My Dad and the staff at Hammers are amazing for doing this for me.   And my mom is amazing for always being there too.  I love you guys.  God Bless you all!  And as Nicole would say, LIVE LIFE NOW.  Love and missing you every day girl.

Enjoy the photos below of Stitch, and Megan's birthday reunion (Happy birthday girl) with the kids at Mellow Mushroom.   Cheers Jennifer West.  Lol.   Love.  And believe me people, I really hate asking but I need to provide for Karley and me.  And if you can't afford anything, prayers are actually the best!  I'm alive, broke, but ALIVE!

Here is the link Go Fund Me Account Link

Thursday, March 1, 2018


Remember back in January and February when I was struggling over those pulmonary embolisms?  Well, I'm happy to say I feel 98% better.  That 2% is just fatigue easily from lack of exercise, which totally caused me to gain weight.  Ugh.  I was mad about it, but not anymore.  It'll come off.  The exciting news is....I'm still alive!!!  I surpassed the 5 years, filed bankruptcy, and 16 days later had a 4 day hospital stay.  More medical bills are already rolling in, and I totally can't afford them.  So, my dad and his friends at Hammers Bar and Grill, next to the Atlanta Airport. will be holding a benefit to help me pay them so I can start rebuilding my credit.  Cancer will ruin your finances.

Now that I don't have credit cards, I don't have a cushion should anything go wrong.  I know the last thing I should be worried about is money, but I plan on living so need that credit score to go back up!

We haven't set a date yet since we will be working around my scan schedule so I can be there.  It will most likely be on one of the last weekends in April or first weekends in May.  I will post as soon as I find out.

I did want to say this.  Be thankful for what you have and your health.  Because in the blink of an eye, it could all change.  No warning.  I may have stage 4 lung cancer, but I've realized, it can get worse and I am so blessed that God has the healing process going on quickly.  I pray for Don who went through and still going through the same thing.  Nicole thought she had them and called us Twinzies.  I wish she had instead of what took her from us.  But she's free, that gives me so much peace.  This is a hard world to be a part of.

We may get knocked down, but the lung cancer community is tight.  We are a family.  If you are a caregiver and lose your spouse, just know, you will never lose your family.  We are all in this fight together, patients and caregivers.  We are always here for each other.  I love my community.

Well, I'm getting sleepy again because I thought I was superwoman the past few days and I just crashed.  But my house is clean!

Thank you for all of your sweet words of encouragement throughout this part of my life and thank you for your continuous prayers for all of us who need them.  You all inspire me to get back up!  God bless. 

And, since I don't really have any pics for this post, I'll show you my made up self with a wig and my non made up self without.  This is a rare event, for me to show this, but I would like to thank Tarceva for making my hair so crazy (and it refuses to grow)....and saving my life so far.  I think I look like two different people!

Almost forgot.  Happy Cancerversary Stefanie Wardrep!