My sweet angel

My sweet angel

Friday, July 14, 2017

One Year

So things have changed a lot in the past year.  I've met some incredible people and our Goddaughter just relocated here.  Which means I get to see more of my best friend (because she misses her daughter).  But, I'll take it.  Karley has gone to several camps, we went to NYC for Christmas, and I got a new car.

My world kept going.  I didn't think it would, but it did.  For those of you who are just beginning to read my blog, this is the one year anniversary of Roy Reynolds untimely death.  Roy had leukemia, he was younger than me, and I swore he would outlive me.  He was my Robertson aka Data.  For those of you who attended my wedding, he rocked the bar.  He never expected to be paid for it either. He was like that, but I made him take money.

When he was first diagnosed, his sister, Renesha called me to the hospital.  I was dealing with my own cancer and she thought we would be able to relate to each other.  And we did.  One thing about Roy, he was so stubborn.  He refused to believe he would have cancer the rest of his life.  I knew it was just a part of the grieving process since I had gone through it myself.

Each day I went and visited with him while he was in the hospital and they worked to get his WBC count down enough to go home.  We would talk about life with cancer, and how it's possible to have one.  It's just different.  It's a new normal.  He wasn't going to be able to do everything he had always done and would get tired easily once starting his targeted therapy.

After he was diagnosed, he moved in across the street from us.  It was nice to have him there.  Not only had we worked together and were friends, but now we were neighbors.

The events that took place that day, I will never forget.  They are scarred into my memory for life and I still see them when I sleep.  There are some things that will remain with you forever.  This is one of them.

Renesha called for me to go check on him because he wasn't answering his phone July 13th.  After not responding to my knocking, I let myself in with the extra key.  I found him in his room, sleeping but it was incredibly cold.  He was sweating so much and when I woke him he told me he was in a lot of pain.  I called Renesha as I helped him to the car.  We were going to the hospital.

The hospital did not admit him although he had just been the day before with an incredibly high WBC count.  At this point, his gums were bleeding and his nose was bleeding.  He was bleeding.  The ER would not admit him despite our concerns and disagreements.  Renesha, Roy, and I all pleaded for him to be admitted but to no avail.   After giving him pain meds, they released him back to us.

I took him home, Renesha got his meds filled.  Roy and I stopped by Wendys, we were starving.  He tried to pay, because that's how he was.  He hated people doing stuff for him.  But, I wouldn't let him.

I dropped him off at his house after Wendys, told him I loved him and to call if he needed me.  He said he loved me too and okay.  Those were the last words we ever said to each other.

Later that evening, around 6 pm, I had been running errands and his friend Amp was standing on the porch of Roy's house as Renesha was calling me.  Roy wouldn't wake up.  I ran over to the house.  He was snoring but wouldn't wake.  He had so much sweat and had barely touched the food I gave him.  Amp dialed 911 as I laid a pillow under his head and placed it in my lap and stroked it, telling him everything was going to be okay and continued shouting his name.  Finally, he opened his eyes, looking bewildered, but then I saw the look of recognition and he went back to sleep.  Forever.

He suffered a stroke that day.  I can remember the doctors telling us it was critical and they were flying him to Savannah.  I had his change of clothes and phone in my car as I drove to Savannah Memorial.  His phone kept ringing.  It was driving me nuts.  I couldn't answer.  I didn't know what to say, but I had a feeling already that it wasn't going to be good.

Later in the afternoon on the 14th, the family decided to take him off of life support.  The doctor showed his sister and I his brain scans.  We could see the damage that had already been done.  There was no coming back.  We all knew it.

So now, Renesha goes on without her best friend and brother.  A family goes on without their only brother.  I can't imagine how incredibly hard it has been.  He was too young.  It was too sudden.  We didn't have a chance to say goodbye.

When cleaning out his house, I got the comforter I gave him and placed in a plastic container so I could still smell him when I wanted.  I fell into a deep depression.  But, one thing about Roy, he wouldn't want that.  He would want us all to be living it up while we can, cause he did.  His stories were so funny.  He lived each day to the fullest.  And his smile, well, his smile could light up a room on it's own.

So, Roy, I miss you so very much and I'll always have that hole in my heart that can never be filled for Robertson.  I love you so much too.  I miss our talks and our bitching about cancer.  But you are in no more pain, sorrow, and are cancer free.  And for that, I'm thankful.  I'm just selfish because I miss you and want you here.  I'll always love you.  The hole will always be there. And we will have quite the pasta party when I see you again.  Maybe even play a little pool and I'll beat you again.

Thank you for your continuous prayers and please pray for Roy's family and friends on this day.  They've experienced all the firsts without him now.  Holidays, birthdays, weddings, etc.  I know how hard it is on me, so for them, I really can't imagine.  

Rest in Paradise my friend.











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