Monday, March 6, 2017

March...you were supposed to be better

So far this has been a tough year.  It's been one of the most emotional years I've ever had.  March is supposed to be a lucky month.  I was really wanting this to be a good month.  I feel like the roller coaster has just been at a standstill for so long, something good needed to come out of this month.

It's now day 6.  And March, you've already disappointed me.  

18 years ago, I was living with my father.  I wanted a dog.  He consistently refused.  I knew if I could just get one in there, he would be okay with it.  I found the one I wanted in Dallas, GA.  I told my dad that my friend and I were going to the movies.  

I came back with a puppy in a shoe box.  My dad was so mad.  He told me to take the dog back but I claimed they were giving them away at the movie theater and I couldn't resist and the people were now gone.  I promised I would take care of him.

He conceded and allowed me to keep Dallas.  However, I was working and in my first year of college so was rarely home.  My dad was left with Dallas since my dad didn't work.  And what do you know, they bonded.  Dallas was no longer my dog.  He became my father's dog.  Dad began calling him "Dallas, the Big Headed War Dog".  He was a tiny thing.  What's so funny is my dad never fed him dog food.  He fed him the same thing he ate every day or dog treats.

One day, Dallas got out and was hit by a mustang.  He went into shock and we made it to an emergency vet.  They didn't think Dallas would pull through, but he did.  That was the first time I saw my dad cry.  I knew he loved that dog so much.  So, it wasn't a surprise when I moved out, he said, "you can go, but the dog stays".   I just laughed.  They were inseparable.  

Dallas has also been bitten by a water moccasin.  So, he's lived 18 years, been hit by a car and bitten by a snake and lived off of people food.  He's been one tough dog.  

But, unfortunately, he went blind and deaf and has gotten to the point he can't walk.  Today he was in pain and my dad took him to the vet.  The vet told him it was time.  My dad had always hoped Dallas would pass in his sleep so he wouldn't have to do the inevitable.  But, of course, life isn't easy.  

Tomorrow morning, my father will take Dallas to the vet and have him put down.  It's the only humane thing to do.  He was so adamant about not letting Dallas suffer.  I cried a lot tonight.  I told Karley when she got home from volleyball.  She too cried.  She rarely cries.  I'm writing this from her bed because she could not sleep.  She said, "mommy, I've known Dallas my whole life".  All I could do was try to fight back my own tears and comfort her.  I stayed with my dad for a while before moving down here with Karley.  Dallas was so protective of her.  

I'm so blessed that he gave my dad so many years of joy.  My dad is grateful for that too, but tomorrow will be so hard for him.  We've had so much going on in our family, I was hoping Dallas would make it longer, but God had other plans.  I offered to fly up in the morning, but my dad said this was something he had to do alone so I respect that.  And I know I would just make things worse by crying my eyes out myself.  So, I'll stay here and be strong.  I know you're thinking, "it's just a dog".   But this dog has been with us for 18 years.  That is amazing and he's made such an impact on my dad's life.  I hate this. 

So, screw you March!  You were supposed to be better but it's day 6 and I'm already crying my eyes out.  April, I have scans.  I need you to be better.  Please pray for my poor dad who is losing his best friend tomorrow.

And thank you for your continuous prayers for me and my family.  Please keep them up.  We need good scans in April desperately.  It's in God's hands. 

We'll always love you Dallas, the Big Headed War Dog

He does have a big head :)


  1. Prayers for your dear dad, for an easy passing for Dallas and for you and Karley. Losing a pet is very difficult; I am so sorry you all have to suffer this. God blesses Dallas and all of you.

    1. Thank you nancy! I feel like such a Debbie Downer lately but so much keeps going on. I need to post something positive soon!

  2. It is never just a dog. Having been down that road, I will be thinking of your dad, your family. Also positive thoughts for good scans next month. I will be right behind you as I have scans in May. We keep fighting because of those that love us, being strong is exhausting. Hang in there, you inspire us all!

    1. Thank you Shelly! Praying for you in May. And you are exactly right about why we fight. And speaking of exhaustion, I was just about to nap. It's like you read my mind! I've been kinda down with everything lately but I'll get back on track with positivity. If I can just get this stupid roller coaster moving again....