Monday, April 25, 2016

No...I'm not normally crazy...

They say you find out you find out who really cares about you when you step back and take a look at who's still by your side when you go through hard times.

About two weeks ago I went through one of those.  I had forgotten to take my prozac for several days and was on progesterone (which leads to depression and PMS like symptoms).  Needless to say, I was a joy to be around and was unacceptably cruel to one of my friends, okay...a few of them.  But, that's when I found out they were true friends.  I didn't think so at the time.  I was bottom of the barrel miserable with my life.  The true friends forgave.  They know that you have so much going on, you are treading water to stay afloat.  I'm always a mess after the stress of scans.

But, I was blessed for that bout of meanness and depression I went through because my friends showed their true colors.  I may have lost one (none of the ones I was mean too), but it's okay.  It just wasn't meant to be.  You can build years of a friendship with someone, but the unreal ones won't forgive or will call you a liar or take everything you say in the wrong context.  That's the kind of person you don't need as a stressor.  Pick your battles wisely.  No point in wasting energy on someone who has already made up their mind about you.

No one really knows what it's like to walk in your shoes.  I need to remember this more about other people myself.  Other people have problems too and I really gave myself a pity party, which I regret.  I try to stay strong.  My dad always says, "the army don't want you if you ain't tough".  Ummm, I never wanted to be in the army, so that was a mute point.  But I have striven to remain strong.  I don't have to be, that's what our God is for, I know I am weak.  After giving it all to Him to worry about, it becomes a peace that's indescribable.  I mourned the loss of that friend for a short while, but looked around at the beauty, blessings, family, and friends I have and let it all go.  I am a forgiver...always will be.

I encourage you all to do the same.  Forgiveness takes courage.  So the friends I was mean to, they are pretty courageous in my book because I know how mean I can be, which I try not to. That was the old me and I regret letting it out.  I guess I wanted to share this all with you, not only to get it off of my chest, but to let you know that life doesn't have to be so stressful and one person should not have made such a dent in my normally positive attitude.

Onto newer things, I met Karley's father's girlfriend.  She's amazing  She snapped some shots of all of us at the mexican restaurant.  I think we are all obsessed with mexican food.  I know I am.  I'm blessed that she's found her way into Karley and John's lives.  I couldn't be happier for them.  Thank you for all you do Megan.

And I'm blessed for my family at home.  Brent, Karley, and Livi complete me.  I love to hear the girl's play or work together cleaning.  I am so happy with my life.  Just stay away from me near scans...before and after!

Thank you for all of your continuous prayers for us.  Please continue to pray for Carmen Frye, Ansley Jones, Chaseman, Deena Long, and all of the others suffering from these horrible illnesses.

God has a plan for all of us, we just don't know what it is yet.  He said in this life, there will be troubles.  I believe Him now!  But I also trust in His plan, regardless of what it is.

God bless you all!


  1. I won't stay away from you before and after your scans, but I just won't take to heart the crazy that can come out 😉 I know I can't understand the stress that accompanies these times, but I won't ever get so mad I won't forgive you. I love you sister!

  2. Hi. My name is Jill and I am 28 year old single mother, to a beautiful 5 year old daughter, and two angels up in heaven.
    I'm sick with another very bad cough again and some chest discomfort. I like to say I am a "normal healthy 28 year old" who's never smoked before. But I've been having these chronic coughs for a couple of years now and it never dawned on me to get checked out. I started googling and am concerned I may have lung cancer. I finally caved and put VIX on last night to sleep. I like doing things natural so I've been having tons of garlic, honey, green tea, turmeric you name it. But I just can't shake this feeling as to why I'm having these constant chronic coughs that are so bad an longer for weeks. I came across your story and blog on a site. I want to say what a fighter you are. I can't imagine what you are going through. But I now want to follow your journey and fight through lung cancer. I will be praying for you daily, God bless you.

    1. I'm so sorry for your loss. I tried all those herbal things too. I just felt like I couldn't get my cough completely out. Go with your gut. Sometimes you have to be your own advocate to your doctor. Keep going and push for that chest ct or at very least an x-ray. Lung cancer in young women is on the rise. Not sure why. Thank you for your prayers and God bless you too. ❤️