Saturday, April 5, 2014


One thing I've learned, when you happen to get cancer, you always have cancer.  In your mind, it is never gone.  It messes with your head, so that every little ache or pain you have, you automatically think "cancer".

It's not just a physical illness.  It tears you apart emotionally, and can break you down to your core.  Of course you are able to have good days.  But some are bad.  I'm not in pain right now and my last two scans haven't shown any sign of active cancer cells.  And I am so grateful for that.  I want to be here to watch my sweet girl grow up.  I want to be here for every moment...

I guess I just miss my family and friends in Atlanta sometimes, and today is one of those days.  I miss their support and encouragement.  I have a handful of people here who care, and I'm so thankful for them.   I don't think I give Stephen enough credit on this blog.  He is always with me.  He has taken care of me like no one else here and I love him for everything that he has done and continues to do.

But, I want my family and friends from up there too.  The people that go to every appointment with me, cry with me, cheer with me, and pray with me before and after every piece of news we receive.  The people that can sit with me, just sit.  We don't have to talk, sometimes I hate to talk.  I just love their presence.  I love them.  I wish we lived closer.

I love the support groups I am a member of now.  I feel like they really understand.  But being a part of these groups comes with certain conditions.  Of these, you are going to lose some of your supporters and friends to this disease.  Recently, one of our beautiful fighters/advocates passed away from lung cancer.   Jessica Rice was only 33.   You can read her blog here:  http://stageiv.wordpress.com/

She was an inspirational woman, please pray for her family and friends.

I know I'm not alone.  I also know it's okay to not be strong all of the time.  That's where God comes in and I need Him pretty bad today.  Please don't think I'm depressed or anything, I'm just keeping this blog up to date so you all know how it is.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers.  God bless you all.

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.

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