Saturday, January 12, 2013

Going home!

I'm heading back to St Simons today to see my favorite person in the entire world, my baby girl Karley!   She will be turning 8 this Tuesday!   Growing up so fast, time just flies!  

My friends Reggie, Amanda, Brad, Mandy, and Poppy have come over the past few nights to hang out, make me laugh, and just take my mind away from reality.  And my friend Sonja is driving me down to St Simons today and back Wed  for my oncologist appt at piedmont.  I'm blessed to have so many great friends, family, supporters, prayer warriors and donors to the fund Brook set up.

My life is no longer what it was, I'm still processing that and it's hard to deal with.  I sometimes feel like I'm letting loved ones down, even though I know it's not my fault, I can't help but have that sadness some days.

I have my faith, and against all that is natural in me, I'm trying to not make a plan b.  My only plan is to live, and I will do whatever it takes.   Giving that burden of worry to God is the best thing I can do to enjoy life.    Dwelling on things beyond my control isn't helpful, it's more hurtful to my fight.  This is very hard not to do, but that's where faith comes in.

I'm on day 4 of tarceva.   It gives me stomaches and makes me so tired.   All I do is lay around but can't sleep.  I'm sure it will improve with time.

For now, not much news here other than I'm going home!  And I may tackle Karley and hug her so much that I never let her go.  I'm so glad that I won't be missing her birthday, even if it meant leaving MD Anderson with the bad news.   I was tired of being away, tired of tests, and tired of hospitals.  I needed this break.  

It will be short lived since I have appts at piedmont 1/17 and 2/1. I'm supposed to follow up in Houston Feb 4&5 but am considering Piedmont because its closer to home.   I don't know yet.  I plan on discussing with the oncologist Thursday.  

I hope you all have a blessed day.  Enjoy every moment, we are never promised tomorrow.

I'm going home, and taking my faith with me!

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