Hope

Hope

Monday, December 10, 2018

Lung Cancer and Antidepressants

Well, I've had a hell of a week last week.  And on top of everything, the traveling, pure exhaustion, headaches, I ran out of antidepressants.  I didn't notice for the first few days.  But, now I know who I am without them.  It's been awful.

So, I'm going to get my refill today but they've been out of my system long enough to not be so good.  My headaches are still there, even though I had an MRI that was clear, praise God.  But the sadness...it's debilitating.  I need to go get groceries, work, clean, take a freakin shower.  I just can't right now.  I keep crying about everything.

Driving home Saturday, I heard that song "Good Old Days" by Macklemore featuring Kesha.  The lyrics literally had me in tears. 

"I wish somebody would have told me babe
Some day, these will will be the good old days
All the love you won't forget
And all these reckless nights you won't regret
Someday soon, your whole life's gonna change
You'll miss the magic of these good old days"

I immediately called my best friend from high school and we reminisced some.  And she brought up "The Office" when Andy says, "I wish there were a way to know you're in the good old days, before you've actually left them."  So true!

Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I had my antidepressants in my system or didn't have Stage 4 Lung Cancer.  The good old days, we had no cares.  Now, I wake up wishing I was that kid again.  They say ignorance is bliss.  Well, it is so true.  I'm so thankful I didn't know what lay ahead.  And to all those missing loved ones or going through hard times over these holidays, don't be ashamed to ask for help.  You aren't alone.  I'm just throwing it out there.  I NEED these antidepressants to feel normal, to be happy at times.  It wasn't until this cancer that I needed them, but now I know for sure I can't run out again.

So, this is me, off antidepressants for the moment and completely miserable.  It'll take a bit for them to get back in my system.  Meanwhile, I may post silly stuff and smile, because it's what I do.  And maybe I'm in the good old days and am just not appreciating it.  I don't know much lately.  I just know today.  And today, I'm miserable and praying for peace.  Thanks for listening and your continuous prayers.  The storm doesn't last forever.

Jennifer Shaeffer and me...approximately 21 years old


7 comments:

  1. I was diagnosed of HEPATITIS B in 2015 and I have tried all possible means to get cure but all to no avail, so luckily one day as i was browsing through the Internet searching for remedy on HEPATITIS B, CURE and i saw comment of people talking about Doctor AZIBA who cured them from HEPATITIS B ,so I contacted him base on the testimonies I read about him on the Internet from different people so he told me some certain things which i can easily do and which i did and he assured me that he will send the medicine to me which he actually did. He sent me the medicine which is made of vegetable herbal remedies, to GOD be the glory i was cured by him even before i finished the medicine and the time he gave,This is greatness!!! kindly contact him Via Email:[ PRIESTAZIBASOLUTIONCENTER@GMAIL.COM ] call number or WhatsApp him direct through his cell phone: WhatsApp +2348100368288 And he can also cure you also because he made it clear to me that he do not treat but he cured permanently and so he can cure some type of diseases like,ALS,DIABETICS,cancer,HERPES,fibroid, HIV AIDS. WART. etc.. all thank to you Dr AZIBA for your kindly help in my life. WhatsApp DR.[ +2348100368288 ] DR Email: [ priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com ]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GREAT MIRACLE TAKE IT REAL My names are MARY JOHNSON I’m a citizen of United STATE,i was suffering of breast cancer and my family have taking me to all kind of hospital in US still yet no good result. I decided to go to the internet and search for cancer cure, so that was how I find a lady called ERIC PAULA she was testifies to the world about the goodness of a herbal man who has the root and herbs to cure all kind of disease and the herbal man email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man for help to cure me from breast cancer. I contacted him and told him my problem he told me that I should not worry that my cancer will be cured, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that I will cook it and start drinking it for 2 weeks, so I ask how can I receive the cure that I am in US, he told me that I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier service so i started using it as the herbal man instructed me to do before the week complete my cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 2 million us dollars the herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from the hospital please contact drosohaberhome@gmail.com or call/whats-app +2348162084839 ....

      here is the dr website.
      https://sites.google.com/view/drosohaberhome/
      His blog page https://drosohaberhome.blogspot.com

      you can also email me for more info about DR oso via maryjohnson9700@gmail.com ALL THANK TO DR OSO . GREAT MIRACLE TAKE IT REAL My names are MARY JOHNSON I’m a citizen of United STATE,i was suffering of breast cancer and my family have taking me to all kind of hospital in US still yet no good result. I decided to go to the internet and search for cancer cure, so that was how I find a lady called ERIC PAULA she was testifies to the world about the goodness of a herbal man who has the root and herbs to cure all kind of disease and the herbal man email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man for help to cure me from breast cancer. I contacted him and told him my problem he told me that I should not worry that my cancer will be cured, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that I will cook it and start drinking it for 2 weeks, so I ask how can I receive the cure that I am in US, he told me that I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier service so i started using it as the herbal man instructed me to do before the week complete my cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 2 million us dollars the herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from the hospital please contact drosohaberhome@gmail.com or call/whats-app +2348162084839 ....

      here is the dr website.
      https://sites.google.com/view/drosohaberhome/
      His blog page https://drosohaberhome.blogspot.com

      you can also email me for more info about DR oso via maryjohnson9700@gmail.com ALL THANK TO DR OSO .

      Delete
  2. WHAT A GREAT MIRACLE THAT I HAVE EVER SEE IN MY LIFE. My names are Clara David I’m a citizen of USA, My younger sister was sicking of
    breast cancer and her name is Sandra David I and my family have taking her
    to all kind of hospital in USA still yet no good result. I decided to go to
    the internet and search for cancer cure so that was how I find a lady
    called peter Lizzy she was testifies to the world about the goodness of a
    herbal man who has the root and half to cure all kind of disease and the
    herbal man email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man for my
    younger sister help to cure her breast cancer. I contacted him and told him
    my problem he told me that I should not worry that my sister cancer will be
    cure, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that
    I will cook it and give it to my sister to drink for one week, so I ask how
    can I receive the cure that I am in USA, he told me

    That I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can
    transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for
    the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier
    service so I used it as the herbal man instructed me to, before the week
    complete my sister cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not
    knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the
    miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 5 million us dollars the
    herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he
    didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him
    and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if
    you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from
    the hospital please contact dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com or whats app him
    +2348110114739 / via his website https://drsakuraspellalter.weebly.com/ you can follow him up on Instagram herbalist sakura for the cure, he will help you out with the
    problem. And if you need more information about the doctor you can mail me
    davidclara223@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for sharing your story and we pray for you .There are some lung cancer detection procedures and prognosis to find out the lung cancer and other diseases.

    ReplyDelete
  4. WHAT A GREAT MIRACLE THAT I HAVE EVER SEE IN MY LIFE. My names are Clara David I’m a citizen of USA, My younger sister was sicking of
    breast cancer and her name is Sandra David I and my family have taking her
    to all kind of hospital in USA still yet no good result. I decided to go to
    the internet and search for cancer cure so that was how I find a lady
    called peter Lizzy she was testifies to the world about the goodness of a
    herbal man who has the root and half to cure all kind of disease and the
    herbal man email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man for my
    younger sister help to cure her breast cancer. I contacted him and told him
    my problem he told me that I should not worry that my sister cancer will be
    cure, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that
    I will cook it and give it to my sister to drink for one week, so I ask how
    can I receive the cure that I am in USA, he told me

    That I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can
    transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for
    the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier
    service so I used it as the herbal man instructed me to, before the week
    complete my sister cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not
    knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the
    miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 5 million us dollars the
    herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he
    didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him
    and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if
    you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from
    the hospital please contact dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com or whats app him
    +2348110114739 / via his website https://drsakuraspellalter.weebly.com/ you can follow him up on Instagram herbalist sakura for the cure, he will help you out with the
    problem. And if you need more information about the doctor you can mail me
    davidclara223@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. GREAT MIRACLE TAKE IT REAL My names are MARY JOHNSON I’m a citizen of United STATE,i was suffering of breast cancer and my family have taking me to all kind of hospital in US still yet no good result. I decided to go to the internet and search for cancer cure, so that was how I find a lady called ERIC PAULA she was testifies to the world about the goodness of a herbal man who has the root and herbs to cure all kind of disease and the herbal man email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man for help to cure me from breast cancer. I contacted him and told him my problem he told me that I should not worry that my cancer will be cured, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that I will cook it and start drinking it for 2 weeks, so I ask how can I receive the cure that I am in US, he told me that I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier service so i started using it as the herbal man instructed me to do before the week complete my cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 2 million us dollars the herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from the hospital please contact drosohaberhome@gmail.com or call/whats-app +2348162084839 ....

    here is the dr website.
    https://sites.google.com/view/drosohaberhome/
    His blog page https://drosohaberhome.blogspot.com

    you can also email me for more info about DR oso via maryjohnson9700@gmail.com ALL THANK TO DR OSO .

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Nice Blog!!! Thank you for sharing information. Wonderful blog & good post.Its really helpful for me, waiting for a more new post. Keep Blogging!

    Lungs Specialist in Lucknow
    Best Lungs Specialist in Lucknow
    Asthma Specialist in Lucknow
    Asthma allergy Specialist in Lucknow

    ReplyDelete