Monday, October 23, 2017

Love Lost, Love Found

Well, this is my blog and I am always completely honest on it.  So here it goes.

Let's talk about Love Found first.  My cousin, John Allen Mixon, married his college sweetheart, Callie Johnson this past weekend.  I was so honored to be able to attend.  The wedding was absolutely beautiful and so well planned  They found love quite some time ago and I couldn't be happier for my younger cousin.  I just wish my Uncle Jerry (his father) had been able to attend, but I believe he watched from heaven.  I've added some pictures below, they are absolutely beautiful.  I also never get to see my family from Atlanta, and was blessed to see them.

I went to the rehearsal dinner and wedding alone though.  That is part of my Love Lost.  After the hurricane, Brent and I decided to separate.  We are going in different directions.  I still love both him and Livi, but it became apparent we could no longer live together.  We are both okay with this.  We just have different priorities in life.  I know that this will be better in the long run.   Brent is a wonderful man and deserves so much.   I haven't been single since like 7th grade.  And I have so much going on in my life, it's not normal and really hard for people to understand my emotional roller coaster.  I just hope Karley and Livi will always be there for each other when they need it, I will always be here for Livi and Brent if they need it.

So, don't worry about me, I'm doing good, except financially.....ugh.  I debated a while about writing about our separation but I figured, this is my life.  A lot of us go through it.  We just have to keep going.

Thank you for all of your continuous prayers and please pray for Kelly and Nicole, some of my LC besties.  This is a tough disease, but these are tough women.  Especially with God on our side.

God bless you all!

Enjoy the pics!

I think another hurricane was coming through....

Monday, October 2, 2017

Night and Day

Yesterday, we had an amazing time at the new Mercedes Benz Stadium watching the Falcons and Bills while representing Team Draft.  Although we lost, I heard a Buffalo fan apologize to an Atlanta fan about one our players being hurt.  He was sincere, honest, and it made my heart do a little flip flop.  There's been so much hate going on in the world, it was good to see fans all getting along.

I had been super mad at someone I considered a friend both Saturday and Sunday.  Then I realize, if that person can do that to you, were they really your friend?  The answer is no.  Some people in this world only worry about themselves, don't honor commitments or responsibilities, and don't seem to sympathize or acknowledge all you do for them, selflessly.  This morning I woke up to an apology, but I was still livid.  Doesn't mean I don't forgive this person.  It just means that I won't forget it or go out of my way for them, especially with the very little remorse shown.

After receiving the text, I noticed a ton of alerts about a shooting in Vegas.  I get Jacksonville and Atlanta alerts too so I didn't pay much attention to it.  But the alerts kept coming in and I finally read the story.  As I read, I couldn't stop the tears from falling.  You see, I have cancer, stage 4.  I was put on notice to make amends, forgive, love, and enjoy every day as if it were your last.  I'm not saying I'm lucky by any means.  Sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world to know it's coming.

But these people in Las Vegas, they had no notice, no chance to make amends, to forgive, to tell their loved ones they love them.  I know death happens every day this way to plenty of people.  But the sheer amount of people involved makes this unbelievable.  It is a day I will never forget, like Orlando, like 9/11, like Virginia Tech, like Sandy Hook, like Columbine.   I know where I was and what was going on and I'm just praying for all of the people that were just trying to enjoy a concert and LIVE their life.   They weren't given a warning.  Karley's grandfather wasn't given a warning when driving that fateful day.  And although it's a crazy thought, I'm thankful I was given notice, because the person I was becoming was not someone I liked.  I changed, I was given a second chance.  Those people weren't.

I love to go out, have fun, LIVE life, but today, I just feel like I can't.  I have a knot in the pit of my stomach and the tears keep coming.

I guess my point is, putting all differences aside, I love all of you and sometimes senseless tragedies like this occur and put things back into perspective for me.  All I have in my heart right now, regardless of how we've interacted lately, is love.  Because in the end, we know that's all that remains.

Thank you Team Draft for taking us to the game to help change the face of lung cancer.  Even with those two teams in a nail biter, you could feel the love.

Please pray for the people and families caught up in the Vegas shooting.   And thank you all for your continuous prayers and please keep them coming.  I have my annual MRI scheduled for the 4th and I'm done with scans for the year!  Also, please pray for a few of my really close friends.  Lung cancer is relentless and I need these girls so much.

God bless.