Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Caregivers

It's been a while since my last post, but something has been weighing on my mind lately.

Sometimes, us cancer patients get so wrapped up in our journey, that we forget how hard it is on the people that care about us.  I'm going to use my mother as an example, because she has been my rock, yet watching her daughter go through so much has to be the most awful thing in the world.  To me, I would rather go through this myself than have Karley go through it, both emotionally and physically.  So the toll it has to take on her is indescribable.

You see, I know where I'm going one day.  I know that day may be sooner than her, but with all the new drugs coming out, it may very well be later.  But, I know we are both going to the same place, home.  That, in itself, is comforting.  Karley has a great father who loves her more than the world, that gives me more peace, she will be safe and taken care of by him.

Sometimes, you don't think about these things when life is going well.  But when it takes a turn for the worse, it can consume you if you don't have your religion and your support system.

I feel like right now, my mama needs prayers.  I know Karley, my dad, sister, Amanda, and my other close friends need prayer too.  But, as a mother myself, I feel like it's different.  Plus, so far this year, my mom has lost her precious dog, Charlotte, her companion, and just recently lost her brother unexpectedly.  Compile that on with the stress of having a daughter with stage 4 lung cancer and it's a recipe for disaster.  I don't know how she holds it together so well.

I do know that she loves me more than anything, even when we fight.  It's different now.  Cancer has done some good for us.  We communicate so much better.  And we don't take our time together for granted.  We forgive easily.

As much as cancer sucks, from now on, I'm going to try and point out one positive thing it brought into my life by the grace of God.  And in this post, that positive thing is the relationship I now have with my mom that I didn't have before.  I'm so blessed to have been given such a dysfunctional, yet loving, funny, charismatic family.  We all group text now....making each other laugh and we are all so much closer even though our physical distance is so much greater.  So for that cancer, I thank you,  But, the rest of you still sucks until I point out another positive on my next post.

So, next time you're saying your prayers, please pray for peace for my mom.  I plan on being here for as long as God allows.  And I'm going to be happy doing it because every day is a gift, even the ones where I binge watch tv or read a book...because I enjoy those things.  I've had a great life so far.  I have no regrets.

And mom, if you're reading this, I couldn't have been the way I am in this fight without you being by my side every step of the way.  Now, we just need to figure out how to get my hair to grow faster so you don't have to buy another wig or extensions!   And I love you so much.  Thank you.

Thank you all for your continuous support and prayers.  Please pray for all of the caregivers out there.  I think this journey is harder on them than it is us.

Finally, please pray for Roy Reynolds and family, Carmen Frye and family, and the Graves family.  They are all battling different cancers.

Proverbs 31:26-27
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of the idleness."

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