Friday, December 19, 2014

Why me?

A little over 2 years ago, I was given the hope of living 12-18 months.  I thought, "why me Lord?  I have a little girl to raise?"  But the real question, why not me?  He told us we would have trouble in this life, but not to worry, for He has overcome.

Later into my diagnosis, I began reading inspirational material through Sarah Young and attending church more frequently.  I wanted more than anything to know His plan for my life.  I also started blogging in an effort to avoid crying so much.  People could read that and I wouldn't have to answer questions.

After almost a year I quit asking "why me?" and became grateful that I know.   I know I may not have much time left on this earth.  Knowing that is a gift in itself.  You see, I could get into an accident tomorrow and not survive.  But that didn't happen.  I was given a warning, not the ticket.

So what good has come out of this?  My daughter is saved.  My 9 year old knows that dying in this life is only the beginning of our eternal life.  She knows it will be hard, but she knows the ones that go before us are in a better place with no suffering, or tears, or pain.

I began writing more about my God into blogs that are followed by people all over the world.  There is even an Italian Healthcare facility that reshares every post I make on my Facebook account.  I always google translate to see what they say.  It's legit.

So, I'm sure there are more good things but it's 2 am and I couldn't sleep so decided to write.  I've been blessed this year beyond belief by The Lord, strangers and by the great people of St Simons Community Church.  When they offered to help me this Christmas season, I thought "why me?"   David Yarborough and Deb Kay had to convince me otherwise.   And boy did I cry, good tears.

I didn't realize I had anything to give back, but I do.  It may not be monetary, but it can be spiritually. I had no idea how I was going to make it financially anymore.  I tried not to worry because I'm still here, but my expenses were outweighing my income.   The church saved me from total financial ruin through the power of Christ.  To all of you that gave this season, thank you.  Thank you for helping me breathe and be able to focus on these precious moments I have with my little girl.  I don't think I could ever put into words the gratitude I have.  You've brought me closer to Him once again.  When I was down, He lifted me up through all of you.  God bless each of you.

Sorry for any grammatical errors.  It's late but I couldn't sleep one more night without thanking the church and other anonymous people who have so graciously helped us this year.  We are truly blessed.  Thank you all for your continuous prayers and we are praying for our friend Lynn McDonough and Karley's friend Alexa.  Please pray for them too.  Your prayers work wonders.

Thank you Lord.  And Merry Christmas to you all.

Matthew 14:31
Immediately Jesus reached out and caught him.  "You of little faith", he said, "why did you doubt?"

Friday, December 12, 2014

Results 12/12/14

We just finished up with my oncologist.  My scans are still stable!  Yay!  We are extremely happy about this, even as we sit in Atlanta traffic.   Thank you for all of your prayers and thank you God for answering them!

We discussed the vertigo I had in October that led to my reduction in tarceva.  My oncologist wants me to now see a neurologist because I may have something going on non-cancer related.  It's hard for us cancer patients to think that anything could be wrong that's not cancer.  So, that took me a moment to think about.  He also wants to increase my dosage again if we get an all clear from the neurologist.

I will try to get an appointment for that over the Christmas holidays.  I haven't had a vertigo spell since the reduction but he's convinced it's not the tarceva.  More doctors!

Anyways, I'm not complaining.  As long as things are stable, we are good.  I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and I'll keep updating as anything happens.   Thank you again for your continuous prayers and God bless!

2 Corinthians 5:7
"We live by faith, not by sight."

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

3 Days

Only 3 more days until I get and find out my latest PET scan.  I'm somewhat nervous because my tarceva dosage was lowered.  I have very few people where I live now that I can truly sit down and talk too about everything.  I'm so thankful for the people I do have and for God.  I try to give my worry to Him.  It's hard to be brave in front of Karley sometimes.  These scans are so irritating.  I used to not worry, but I'm 2 years in and now 3 days until, and I'm worried about something beyond my control.

Anyways.  Enough about worry.  Chris Draft was fabulous this past Sunday and took Karley, Stephen, and I to the Jaguars game.  It was so much fun. Cold and rainy and we lost, but we had a blast.  I thank God for these 3 people that went with me.  They are amazing.

If you want to donate to a good lung cancer cause, donate to www.teamdraft.org

Thank you for all of your continuous prayers and please pray for good scans this Friday.  I feel like I really need your prayers right now.  God bless you all!

1 Corinthians 12:4-8

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”